The Heaven Perspective

A Father drops off his young daughter at a birthday party. The child sits quietly on the way, hands clasped in her lap. She is noticeably anxious. If you were able to penetrate her thoughts, you would know her emotions are swirling and mixed...she is SO excited to be going to a party, it's her first one, after all! This will be the first party where she is a big enough girl to go on her own...the first party where she gets to play with her friends, eat cake, and play lots of fun games.... and inevitably, she's bound to receive many incredible gifts, and make some new friends during the day.

She has some anxiety...a flutter in her tummy... and an unsure feeling. This is the first time she will be away from her Father...this is the first time He will not be evidently by her side to keep an eye on her, and protect her. She timidly asks Him, "Daddy... what if I don't like it there? What if I need to talk to you"? Her Father smiles and looks His beautiful child in her trusting eyes..." My precious girl...don't you know? I am just a call away...ALWAYS". She sighs...she is reassured.

They arrive at the party, and the little girl is met with open arms, and excitement..."She's HERE"!! Yells the lady who opens the door.... and she escorts her into the party, where, unbenounced to her, she is the guest of honour... for she is the celebrated.

She is shocked to find all of the wonderful things in front of her. Exquisite boxes wrapped in jewel tones, with floral ribbons, and bows tied with thick velvety ribbons. As she opens the first box...she gasps in shock...for before her lies a map. It is a living document, with a starting point, and an ending point...and all of the exciting places in the middle are marked with a fuschia "X".

The next box she opens, has 2 cannisters in it. She looks curiously at them, and gently pops the lid to the first one. An explosion of silver confetti fills the air, and inside the empty container, she finds a ring...and it has an inscription on the inside of the band. It says..." Potential, Courage, Faith, Hope and Love...Love Dad".

The second cannister does not have the same explosion, but rather, a small pendant on a gold necklace...the pendant is a violin. She knows this will be a part of her life...for she has always had a passion for the instrument.

The day carries on...and the Father actually becomes homesick for his little girl. He calls to see how she is doing. He is thrilled to find that she got the ring and the necklace..for they were gifts from Him. She tells Him how wonderful her day has been. He is a contented Father.

Later on...as the afternoon fades into evening, the little girl becomes tired. She is worn out from an amazing event... a place where she has had more fun than she could ever imagine...has been given personal, invaluable gifts that she cherishes, and has indeed, made many friends throughout the duration of the day. She has also had some arguements, shed a few tears, and even found herself with a skinned knee when she fell on the sidewalk. Just as she has the phone in her hand, to call her Father to come take her home, an amazing thing happens. He is there. Standing in the doorway...a broad smile across His kind face...arms spread wide to embrace his girl. He sees the daughter he adores...and runs towards her... arms expectant of His little girl, ready to come home. "Daddy?", she asked puzzled, "How did you know I was ready to go?" He laughed lightly, and touched her cheek. "My child...I knew the minute you would arrive, and surely, I know when you're ready to come home".

He asks her, "Did you have fun, favourite child of mine"? She buries her head in His shoulder... and she holds His neck tightly. "Daddy...I had such a good time! I played with my friends, I met so many great people who I love very much! I learned how to play so many games I didn't know how to play before, and I received gifts so perfect for me, it's like I picked them out myself".

He grinned broadly, and whispered in her ear..."my beloved...I gave you the gifts...the ones that mattered...I gave you the map to mark your path...I gave you the engraved ring so to remind you that all of those things are in you. I also gave you the necklace... it was my favourite gift to you. I knew how much you adored your violin, and you have always played so beautifully."

"Daddy", she whispered..."I want to go home, but I don't want to leave my friends...I love them so much". He looked compassionately at his baby girl, and said..."Honey... they will come over to OUR house soon...you don't have to miss them. Remember how you felt at the celebration when I dropped you off? The friends from far and away are at OUR house right now, because we're having an even BIGGER party to welcome you home!!"

As they got into the car, all of the attendees from the party rushed out to the front lawn to wave goodbye to the guest of honour. She rolled down her window, and shouted, " I am going home for another party! I get to see my grandma, and my favourite uncle, and my little sister who has been away for a long time!" The crowd of friends cheered and waved...and blew kisses to the little girl. "I will miss you!" she exclaimed, "Thank you so much for the great party! Daddy says, whenever any of you comes over, we will have a party for YOU when you get there! I will see you all soon...I love you all very much".

While sadness filled the crowd as the little girl pulled away with her Father... a collective energy raced through them like electricity. "We will see her again!" Someone said. "I can't wait to go to her house, and see what kind of party her Dad puts on!" said another. A small voice rose from the back of the crowd, and said..."I'm going to learn the violin... I will think of her everytime I play, and someday...we can play together."

"In my Fathers house, there are many wonderful places! If it were otherwise, surely I would have told you. For I am going ahead, to make ready a place for you." John 14:2

My friends, don't you want to go? xo

Trust

Trust. I realised on Saturday morning, at 3:56am, that trust is the strong hand that grasps for Hope. If we didn't trust that life could be different...situations could change...or that God would intervene in a moment of absolute desperation...then our hope would be futile.

I watched someone I love very much leave a body riddled with cancer, and step instantly into a heavenly, eternal existence. She trusted and loved Jesus for as long as I knew her...she was a tirelessly compassionate, committed child of God. She is my mothers sister...she is my aunt.

When she was diagnosed, she put full trust in the Lord to heal her...and trusted that He would take care of her. She extended her hand of trust toward heaven, and hoped.

She wasn't healed this side of heaven. She passed away in front of my eyes...and I knew in that instant, that she was new. She was in a perfect body, she was in the arms of her Saviour. He didn't abandon her...He didn't let her down...He came to get her. Her hopes were realized as she looked in His kind face, and He embraced her like an old friend that He had been waiting for with anticipation. I imagine that she wept in His strong arms...tears of joy, gratitude and overwhelming love. He took her to the celebration...to the homecoming. She had returned from a long journey...and she's now home.

So, for my Aunt Sharan...I thank you for the privilege of witnessing your unshakeable faith. I can't say I am that strong...not by a long shot. I am humbled and honoured that you let me be there as you stepped out of your sick, tired, broken body, and met our Jesus. I can only imagine that place called Glory. I know you will keep your promise to me...meet me when I get there. Thank you for going ahead of us...you always were braver than most and loved an adventure.

But until then...I can only imagine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_lrrq_opng

The Leader Board

A year in review. I am sure you are doing the same thing too as 2010's end is on the horizon, and the dawn of 2011 is cracking over the near future.

I took at peek at my vision board this morning...there were so many things I thumb tacked on there a year ago before things changed so much that I didn't know....didn't know what, you might ask? Why didn't she finish that sentence? Truthfully...for parts of this year...I felt like I didn't know anything anymore. 2010 turned into a year of reinvention, and it was without choice...I was pushed under the bus of reinvention, because everything I knew before February 13th, 2o10...was all I had EVER known. This meant, there was no room in my mind for boundary pushing, new ways of thinking...change. Then a phone call on February 13th, at 10:47pm broke my coocoon wide open...and there was no opportunity to return to the comfort of my confining chrysalis...the only chance for survival was to move out into the new world.

My vision board had words on it, that I didn't know at the time...how to fulfill. Some of them were:

Serving Opportunities

Adventure

Brave

Sleeping Peacefully (THAT didn't happen a lot this year...but I sure did enjoy it when it did).

Strong

I didn't know that any of those words would serve ME in a year of grief. I just didn't know what they meant...I knew I wanted all of those things...but it was abstract to me... it was a different vocabulary of my own language...or perhaps a foreign dialect altogether.

I am amazed at the reflection this morning...I am moved to deep emotions in this moment, because what I put out there this year, truly did return to me in wierd and wonderful ways. This is a true testament to me that what we focus on, what we repeatedly visualise, think about and have in our face everyday....my friends, it MATTERS. It matters because you can truly create your life according to the things you think about everyday...what you think is the biggest catalyst for opportunity and change in your life.

I didn't know in January 2010, that those words would propel me like a hurricane force wind in the sail of an aimless sailboat. Now, as I think about the words that will be at my back guiding me through 2011...I am thinking carefully about what I want December 2011 to look like...and I am thinking backward. Perhaps if I see where I WANT to be, the decision will be more mutual between destiny and myself.

So I challenge you to think about it my friends... what do you put in your mind everyday that affirms you? What words do you see that challenge your soul? How long will you think that your life doesn't go where your thoughts have already been?

Welcome to your life... where is your roadmap?

Life Guard

To guard a life. To bravely stand watch. To hold a post commissioned by an employer, but more often...by ones own choices and convictions.

To stand between the weak, and inevitable or predicted harm is a mission some care not to participate in. Their mission is avoidance of responsibility...of getting "too involved". The greatest rewards in life come from the most imminent risk. Jumping head first into a situation, like that of the skilled Life Guard requires intent...fiery on the inside of the soul...blazing with the assuredness that sitting on the edge of the danger is surely not an option.

When a Life Guard trains, they are required to memorize the following chart explaining why people drown. Interestingly enough...all of these points, are transferrable to everyday life. In taking on the guardianship for the weak and troubled...we are able to pull victims from a potentially fatal situation.

1. Lack of Education

2. Lack of Protection

3. Inability to Cope

4. Lack of Safety Advice

5. Lack of Supervision

Standing in, or with someone who is at a moment of vulnerability and brokeness, is not an act that requires the answers. It doesn't command explanation...it merely asks, in the gentlest voice, for solidarity and loyalty. It's like the guard on the tower. We are safer as swimmers because we are protected by the faithful eyes and razor sharp skills of the forward thinking guard. We know they are there if trouble should pull us under...but otherwise...they observe life on the beach, and stand watch...often in silence.

So, your words may be few to someone who is being pulled under by the riptide of circumstance...your actions may be swift and your words zero, in a moment of crisis. But know this... we are the guardians of each other. God has equipped us to be His grasping hands, and his swift to act feet... or His shoulder when there is nothing left to do but collapse under weeping and grief. Know there is immeasurable, eternal value to the sacrifice of those actions.

After all, my friend...you're saving a life.

35

I have a birthday coming next week. Usually around a birthday, I contemplate the last 365 days, and agonize over things that should have been different, risks that should have been taken...words that should have been said, or maybe not at all.

In the past, birthdays have reflected regret back to me... I have always thought I should be further ahead in my life by having the status quo; an adoring husband, a beautiful house, 2 healthy kids a loving ginger coloured dog and a minivan. But this year...I have realised something pretty epic:

I'm not where I thought I would be, BUT, I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be.

The changes that happened in my 34th year are substantial. I gained a new niece a month after my birthday...and she is pure joy wrapped up into a chubby, gurgling bright eyed little girl. She has the most beautiful spirit. I was one of the first people to meet her as she was welcomed to the light of earth on December 28th, 2009. I held her for about an hour soon after her birth, until my sister said to me..."Uh...can I hold my baby?" I have been smitten with that darling wee one ever since. Even at that moment, I had a private sadness...wanting, hoping for the day when it's my turn to be the new mom with the beautiful infant.

February spun my world into a tsunami size storm. The debris of losing Michael left everything irreparable. Nothing was or is the same...my existence turned into numbness and knee buckling grief. There is very little I remember between February and May, to be honest. I was swirling in a drain, just trying to find air...trying to not let the surge vacuum me under the tide of grief. Amazingly, a life raft overflowing with new friends drifted past me, and I found myself in the middle of something not short of miraculous. We are the M.E.L.B.'s...we are 14 women who knew Michael...we are honouring our friend everyday...we loved him, and now we love each other.

If I have learned anything in my 34th year, it is this:

Change is inevitable...resilience is a choice.

I took on a new role at work in May. I moved at the end of July. I got a new vehicle in September...my parents are moving out of my childhood home the day after my birthday. It's a lot...when added and divided by the weight of each event...to some, it would be overwhelming at the best of times. This year has truly shown me what I am made of. There have been moments of pure loathing and hatred towards the events of my life...and there have been moments where I have been washed with the cleansing and healing balm of gratitude and understanding....

If I die young, I had just enough time.

I won't be sorry.

I've loved...I've learned..and I have lost. My birthday this year will find me quietly contemplating my blessings..and the things I hope cross my path in my 35th year.

Great adventure...confounding love...much laughter, few tears.

MB...I'll do 35 up for both of us...don't worry, I'll make you proud. xo

Storm Watch

A woman leaving a 22 year marriage. A young mother diagnosed with cancer. An aunt wasting away with an agressive tumour. A woman getting that phone call that tells her the father of her children has died.

What do all of these things have in common, besides being unthinkably sad? Unfair? Grievous? Painful?

These are all people I know.

A friend of mine has chosen to walk through the fire with someone. This girl has, in the last year or so, been diagnosed with cancer, has found her mother ravaged with the same disease, and is now in the beginning stages of wading into grief, as the father of her girls was killed in a car accident a couple of weeks ago. My friend expressed to me how helpless she feels. She asked me, "what do I say, or do...or explain to her about life? How do I dare to say life happens as it should...and that everything is working together for good?"

In a lightbulb moment, I responded with something that could only be a God thought, a divine revelation...clarity.

You don't have to do or say anything. You are the palm tree in the storm. Your purpose is to remain still..stationary, fixed. In this life we are different things at different times...sometimes we are the palm tree, sometimes we are the debris, and sometimes, we are in fact, the storm.

When a cyclone whips a life into disrepair...when it destroys familiarity, safety and faith...there is a refuge, and that is shockingly, at the middle of the storm. The place we know as the Eye in meteorological terms. In human terms...I believe it's the Soul. As Wikipedia explains:

"In strong tropical cyclones, the eye is characterized by light winds and clear skies, surrounded on all sides by a towering, symmetric eyewall."

The storm can rage all around...but there is a refuge. If the storm has beaten you past the possibility of faith...if the Eye inside you has been lost due to a tidalwave of epic circumstances, then might I challenge you...find a palm tree. Find someone with deep roots...someone who bends with the storm, but remains fixed, and strong and provides shelter for you.

Someone did that for me not so long ago...he caught me as I was defenseless against the elements. In a blink, he was gone. In a second my life is different. Today I am grateful for his friendship....and I am overcome with the lesson, " At the moment of your greatest challenge, is also presented your greatest opportunity".

Thank you Michael...I know who I need to be. xo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_jSSVJwGek

The Post-It Project

It's been a long time since a post has gotten me out of bed...but here I am. I was awakened abruptly, often around 3:00am, not so long ago, with ideas...with stories...with lightbulb moments that dragged me sleepily to my laptop.

It's much earlier than 3:00am tonight...I have not been jostled awake by agonizing grief, or memories of a simpler life that sits comfortably in my peripheral...I've been brought here with an idea.

The Post-It Project.

I have an ungodly amount of Post-Its in my office. It's true. For some reason, everytime I order my monthly supplies from work to stock my home office...I order more. I have no idea what I am thinking. I haven't ordered any in a number of months now, because a brick of Big Bird yellow, sticky pieces of paper, caused a casualty. A stack of them, not yet opened out of the plastic wrap, tumbled off the shelf above my desk, and unforgivingly, and with great precision I might add...took the "G" clear off this laptop. NO room for repair...total massacre.

So, with all of these Post-It's...what's a girl to do?

Starting tomorrow...I will have a block of Post-It's with me, at all times. Each time I enter a business, whether it be a convenience store, a coffee shop, my dentist....a gas station...I am going to leave a message. I might hide it somewhere...maybe on page 137 of the latest Harper's Bazaar fashion magazine...perhaps on the mirror in a public bathroom...definitely on the back of a pack of gum, or on the handle of the gas pump I am using.

These notes will say affirming, thoughtful things to the recipient. I will never know who gets the message...and that, I think is brilliant. Perhaps I will quote Shakespeare, or maybe, I will compliment the shoes I'm not seeing...but, the intention will be to make someone smile, and to create a bright spot in their day to day, mundane activities.

So, don't be surprised if you start seeing yellow tabs on magazines at Chapters... or a hidden one found in the next cookbook you buy when you get to page 48...I'm determined to post some happiness into this world, one yellow square at a time.

Do you need some Post-It's my friend? xo

http://www.operationbeautiful.com/