Tuesday, March 23, 2010
A Line in the Sand
"I am drawing a line in the sand". Have you heard that saying? About different points in your life, where you make a conscious, fervent choice to change. To call out the demons, to put a face on the hurt...and to tell it with a piercing scream..."NO MORE".
My line in the sand these days is towards apathy. It is a straight shooting arrow aimed at injustices that I have every ability to remedy, if I choose to give a damn. It is the gauntlet of swinging indifference. Or worse, the care and concern for things that don't matter in this life. How is it that I feel so much more alive, for having experienced such a profound loss?
Because I know I follow in incredible footsteps. My dear friend chose to not only draw the line..but to set a fire between the past of shame, and the future of promise. He chose knowing separation from the familiar, in order to be happy...fullfilled...inspired...ALIVE. I know in his heart..there was never going to be the opportunity to go back. As Cortez said..."Burn the ships! We're here to stay!"
I am curious to find new things that will be non negotiable for me. I vow from this point forward, that there will never be a time in my life where I won't be committed to some kind of service. (You have my word MB..love you) There will NEVER be a day that goes by that I don't tell someone I love them. If I tell you I love you...I mean it. I promise to share my story...good, bad and ugly...for the benefit of others. If it means I can somehow change someones path from peril to victory and freedom... then my story will become my own personal anthem.
I feel these days like there isn't a line in the sand, as much as a crack in the earth of my old existence...I may be able to see across the great divide to what the old world looked like, but there is certainly no possibility of return...it is irrepairable...it is finite.
And for all of the pain..and for all of the tears, do I relish in the old life? Wonder what it would be like if things were the same? Not for a minute...the ship has burned...the embers glow...and the future on a new plain is SO breathtakingly full of possibilities.